Urukundo ni ibyiyumvo biza mu muntu bikamutera kumva ko agomba kugira undi muntu yitaho bakagirana imishyikirano n’umubano byimbitse. Ibi bituma aba bombi basangira twose, bakabwirana twose mbese bakisanzuranaho mu buryo bisa n’ibyikoze.
Kugira ngo urukundo rukomere, bisaba ko mutagira ibyo muhishana, kutishishanya no kubahana. Mu rukundo rero burya uko uba hafi y’uwo ukunda mukaganira mukamenyana ni ko rurushaho kwiyongera. Abahanga bagaragaza ko narwo rushingira ku ntera iri hagati y’abakundana.
Urubuga Elcrema rutanga inama ku mibanire rugaragaza ko urukundo ruri mu moko 10 benshi bitiranya kubera ko batabisobanukiwe:
1.Urukundo rusanzwe
Uru ni urukundo rugaragara mu mibanire isanzwe y’abantu aho ushobora guhura n’umuntu ukamusuhuza mukaganira nta yindi nyungu mugamije.
2. Urukundo rw’ubucuti
Uru rukundo ni rumwe umuntu yumva agiriye undi imbamutima zituma yumva yamwiyegereza ariko ku buryo igihe yamubuze bitamuzonga. Uru rukundo urufitiye undi ntanagera ku rwego rwo kuba yafata icyemezo ngo bagirane umubano urambye.
Uru rukundo ruba rwubakiye ku kwizerana, kubahana, gukemurirana ibibazo no gushaka kwiyubakira ubucuti gusa. Ntirugerageza kwikubira umukunzi no kwegerana cyane, ndetse rushobora no kwihanganirana igihe habaye amakosa cyangwa rukayakosora.
3.Urukundo rw’agahararo
Muri uru rukundo umuntu agira ibyiyumvo byihuse kandi akimariramo undi byihuse nk’uko umuriro w’amashara waka. Akenshi uru ruba rugamije gukemurirana ibibazo cyane cyane by’imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Iyo umuntu adatangiye kugenda yiga undi ngo yige no kumukunda byimbitse biganisha ku kuba inkoramutima, ntiyige kumenya gufata icyemezo kirambye agahararo karashira urwo rukundo rugahita rushira.
4. Urukundo rutavuga
Muri uru rukundo haba harimo gufata icyemezo cy’umubano urambye ariko rukabura ibirungo nk’uko bivugwa mu mvugo y’ubu. Ni ha handi uzasanga umusore akunda umukobwa akaba anamwizera yumva yabana nawe ariko ukabona ntashishikarira kumwegera ngo bishimane. Cyangwa umukobwa akaba akunda umuhungu agatinya kumwegera no kumwisanzuraho nyamara yamara nko kuva aho yari ari agasigara abwira abandi uburyo amukunda.
Uru rukundo akenshi usanga ruba intandaro yo kwambikana impeta y’urudasaza ariko ni narwo rugaragara mu bakimara kubana. Aba baba bakigana bataramenyerana neza ariko uko iminsi ishira bagenda birekura bisanzuranaho, bakaganira bikaryoha.
5. Urukundo rwo kuryoshya
Uru rukundo rukomoka ku kuba abakundana barizirikanyeho bagashaka guhora bagirana ubuzima bwiza bwo kurya ubuzima. Uru rukundo akenshi rushirira mu kuryoshya no gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kuko abarukundana akenshi bataba bariyemeje kubana akaramata.
6. Urukundo rw’urumamo
Uru ni rwa rukundo ruza ruhubutse nk’uko umuyaga uza, aho umuntu ashobora gufata icyemezo cyo kubana n’undi bitewe n’impamvu runaka cyane cyane inyungu amukurikiyeho. Uru ntiruramba kuko iyo za nyungu zirangiye cyangwa zikaburizwamo umwe aca ukwe undi ukwe bikarangirira aho. Ibi ngo ni nabyo bituma hari ingo zisenyuka zitaramara kabiri.
7. Urukundo nyarwo
Uru ni rwo rukundo rwuzuye ndetse abantu baba bakwiye guharanira kugeraho. Rurangwa no kuba inkoramutima, kubwizanya ukuri, gusangira byose, ntirukangwa no kwikunda kandi ntiruhungabanywa n’ibigeragezo cyangwa ibishuko bitandukanye.
Ku bashakanye, bagirirana urukundo ugasanga buri munsi ni mushya kuri bo. Aba bashobora no kumarana imyaka 20 bakirebana akana ko mujisho ndetse bakigira ubwuzu bwo gutera akabariro nk’uko babigiraga bagitangira kubana igihe bari bahararanye.
Abarufite mu mibanire yabo babasha guhangana n’ibibazo kuko rubabashisha gushikama. Ikindi abakundana uru rukundo buri wese yishimira undi akamukundira uko ari.
8. Urukundo rwica
Muri uru rukundo abakundana nta kindi bakora uretse gukundana gusa. Rutwara umuntu uruhu n’uruhande, rugashaka kwiharira umukunzi. Rugira ishyari ryinshi ryaka umuriro kuko abakundana baba bumva nta bundi buzima bubaho uretse ubwo gukundwa n’umukunzi wabo gusa.
Uko ukunda agira icyizere gike cy’uko yaba adakundwa, niko ishyari rimwotsa umutima bigatuma ahora atekereza ko yagambanirwa n’umukunzi we. Urukundo nk’uru ngo ntiruba rukomeye.
Uzasanga abakundana uru rukundo hari ubwo bakundana bitabaho nk’aho bageze mu ijuru, ubundi bakangana urunuka, bananirwa no kwangana bakongera bakifuzanya bitabaho.
Aba bantu batekereza gucika iyi gereza y’urukundo rubagira uku, yanayisohokamo akongera akumva ntacyamurutira urukundo nk’urwo rumutera ishyari ndetse rimwe na rimwe n’agahinda.
9. Gusenga uwo ukunda
Muri uru rukundo uwo ukunda umushyira hejuru ukamuvana mu buzima busanzwe akakubera nk’ikigirwamana. Amakosa ye n’intege nke ze ntubibona cyangwa ukabirenza amaso ubishaka kugira ngo ukomeze umwisengere. Uru ngo ni rwo bita ‘urukundo rw’impumyi’.
Bene uru rukundo ntirutinda kurangira. Iyo ikigirwamana kirambiwe gushyirwa hejuru no gusengwa cyangwa amafuti n’intege nke z’ikigirwamana zitangiye kugaragarira umuyoboke, urukundo ruba rurangiye. Iyo batakirebana akana ko mu jisho, amaso asigaye abona, umuntu ari nk’undi urwo rukundo ruba rushize.
10. Urukundo rwo kwitanga
Ni urukundo rwitangira umukunzi aho ukunda yiyibagirwa akirebera gusa igishimisha umukunzi atitaye ku nyungu ze. Abakundana uru rukundo, iyo habaye ibibazo ni bo bishyiraho amakosa yose bakanigerekaho imitwaro yose. Ntiyirirwa asaba ko undi nawe yirebaho ngo ahinduke.
Ubusanzwe urukundo ni mpa nguhe, ariko ukunda uru rukundo yemera kwakira bike agatanga byinshi ngo urukundo rutangirika. Uru rukundo ni urwo kwitondera kuko urukunda hari ubwo arukoresha akarutegekesha abandi. Akenshi abikora ashaka ko nawe akundwa, akaruguhata yirinda gukoma rutenderi. Iyo atabibonye, abivamo, akarakara akagira n’urwango.
Nubona ukunze umuntu cyane ntagukunde uzihangane kuko si wowe uba ubihisemo ahubwo ni uko urukundo ruba rutahisemo gutura mu mutima we. Nubona kandi ukunzwe n’umuntu ntumukunde, uzishimire ko urukundo rwaje rukomanga iwawe n’ubwo uba unaniwe kurwakira. Ntuzafate nk’ikigoryi uwo muntu washatse kukwereka urukundo kandi ntukamubabaze.
